Real Answers From Real Ministers' Wives

The Role of a Pastor's Wife

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Q. Okay..... So I'm sure many of you have been asked this question in your interview: "What would you say your role is as a pastor's wife?" What kinds of answers has everyone given? -davick92

I feel the role of a pastor's wife is that of an assistant. Eve was made to be a help and company for Adam. The pastor's wife is to follow the same role. We are to make sure the pastor has everything he needs to lead his congregation. From spiritual support to natural support. Remember you are no longer one but two. It's going to take you helping your husband to successfully lead the people. Help from you can be rendered in many areas of ministry. Some of this help is done at home where no members see. The encouragement, a listening ear, and a praying woman is the KEY! We have also got to prepare our children for the good publicity as well as the bad. Not only is the husband in the spotlight, but the family as well. Humbleness and meekness make a good pastor's wife. Remember you have to share your husband with all; saint or sinner. Just Pray!!!! - 1st Lady Cutina Wright

I feel like I am to be a help-mate for my husband in his role as pastor. I feel like God has called us as a couple to be examples for the younger couples, and to minister together. We feel like we are in it together even though I am not on the church's payroll. -DD

I believe that my primary role is to obey the Lord in what He has for me as pastor's wife or church member. I feel a pastoral call along with my husband and often assist him in this way because he feels I am often stronger in this area than he. My husband does all preaching, but because he is bi-vocational, I am often more available than he is. I try to allow the church members to take ownership of most projects and usually help where I am needed, whether that is at home or in the church--only to the extent of what I'm able to as I am currently approaching an empty nest and pursuing a career as well. -Ladylynnpw

Let's begin by giving thanks that we live in a time and era where pastors' wives have a lot less expectations than did pastors' wives of other generations. Many of us work outside the home, serve in parachurch ministries, go to school, homeschool our children, or volunteer in our community. We are free in a way our predecessors only dreamt of. There is no longer a singular role for the pastor's wife.

Let's also rejoice that most congregations welcome pastors' wives to use their gifts as God calls them to, just as any other member of the congregation. Churches assume that as a pastor's wife you will be supportive of your husband and a contributor to the life and ministry of the church.

So the question we might want to ask is... why do we always get asked this when our husbands are candidating? My experience has been that people asking this question do not want a discussion about the role of a wife, the role of a congregation, or the role of a Christian woman in today's society. They ask it because they just want to get to know you, as a person. They aren't wondering if you will pour tea at the next social. They aren't looking for a leader for the mission committee. And they (usually) aren't desperately trying to recruit you as a Sunday school teacher.

They simply want to know if you will come, labor in the vineyard alongside them; and most of all, love them. By = littlegreenbazoo

Thank you to all the contributors. These are suggestions posted on our Message Board and used by permission. The name you see on many is their "message board identity".